{"product_id":"functioning-fuckshow-sweatshirt","title":"Functioning Fuckshow Sweatshirt","description":"Functioning Fuckshow Sweatshirt\n\nIntroducing your new emotional support sweatshirt: Functioning Fuckshow – because holding it together with glitter glue and a dead stare is still holding it together.\n\nThis unisex crewneck features a painfully adorable, mildly traumatized teddy bear who’s just like you: a little rough around the edges, but still showing up. Perfect for those navigating life one mini meltdown at a time—with sarcasm, caffeine, and unmatched style.\n\nWhether you’re a therapy-goer, a licensed trainwreck, or just deeply relatable, this cozy chaos crewneck belongs in your collection. Wear it to your next mental breakdown, staff meeting, or brunch with the ex you should’ve blocked.\n\n✨ Features:\n\nHigh-quality print that won’t ghost you\nUnisex fit: flattering on hot messes of all genders\nSoft AF fabric for comfort during existential spirals\nFront design only: elegant unhinged font + emotionally unstable teddy\n🧼 Care Instructions:\nMachine wash cold, inside-out. Hang dry for long-lasting dysfunction.\n\n📏 Sizing:\nRuns true to size for most emotionally exhausted adults. Size up for the “I’ve given up” lounge look.","brand":"Unconventional \u0026 Unhinged","offers":[{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":41923240919115,"sku":"17736538617042959484","price":39.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":41923240951883,"sku":"15484646731448038248","price":39.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":41923240984651,"sku":"33978380875952329497","price":39.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":41923241017419,"sku":"28667021355514159111","price":39.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":41923241050187,"sku":"16801878983264692645","price":39.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":41923241082955,"sku":"33634440089193183967","price":39.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":41923241115723,"sku":"33984382999115707381","price":39.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ S","offer_id":41923241148491,"sku":"63389427644041751894","price":39.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ M","offer_id":41923241181259,"sku":"29083706620661257953","price":39.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ L","offer_id":41923241214027,"sku":"96595397939494236126","price":39.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ XL","offer_id":41923241246795,"sku":"15180559670801083442","price":39.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":41923241279563,"sku":"23198182343361779426","price":39.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":41923241312331,"sku":"15434748555266891383","price":39.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone Blue \/ 4XL","offer_id":41923241345099,"sku":"26148995033638687353","price":39.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0626\/3278\/8043\/files\/0da54698-il_fullxfull.7121007183_r6g4.jpg?v=1763856635","url":"https:\/\/unconventionalunhinged.com\/products\/functioning-fuckshow-sweatshirt","provider":"Unconventional \u0026 Unhinged","version":"1.0","type":"link"}